Flash back ten years ago when i was 16, new to having my g2, every wednesday would get up drive my mom to work (she was a charge nurse at a nursing home), and then take the car so i could go to co-op.. well this morning was more different then any other day. My older brother was married and living in brantford, and my dad worked in kitchener at the time so at 730 in the morning no one else was home but my mom and myself. I entered the room at 712 am, (i know this because i alway look at their bedroom clock when i walk in) and my mom was struggling to get stuff together for work, and we need to be out the door soon so she could get to work for 730. Something was very off with the way she was acting, i asked her if she was ok, and the last thing i will ever hear and will haunt me forever was "Catch me before I die" flash ... she was on the bed... flash i was putting her in the van (how i got her down the stairs ill never know)... flash ... im in the waiting on the inside of the MacMaster Emergency i hear a nurse walk by snaps me out of my face as she yelled "I think this lady is having a stroke!" SNAP.. i realize i have to call my dad, brother, and grandparents... it took me over an hour before i finally got ahold of anyone, i sat there honestly feeling like i was stoned...
Flash forward to a little under two years ago, im 24 Mom and Dad have sent an email saying that they are off to the Daytona 500 race from their condo, and will email and/or skype tomorrow. Im working from 430 to midnight that night, and comes 10pm and i receive a phone call, saying not to worry, but to have my passport ready, mom is in an emerge in florida and it may have been another stroke, or something in her brain. Later to find out she has received a retinal detachment in her left eye... I am terrified of flying, but decide to fly down and spend their last couple of days in florida with them and drive back.
Flash forward about a year later, and a ton of eye surgery's and procedures, mom goes in for another surgery to find out while at walmart that mom had a stroke on the table..
Ok back to the shopping story, My mother tends to stutter when she gets worked up, migraines, and tends to wonder off on us, to our frustration and worry.
So today my mother decided she would like to take me to go get my nursing scrubs, so ill have them ready (a really nice gesture, plus shopping day with my mom can be super fun). Well, today was the start to walmarts anniversary sale, pretty much equal to a black friday or a boxing day sale (this is walmart canadas huggest sale)... wrong day to come in... mom gets over whelmed by the sales, wants everything, but then worries about spending too much, then wants to buy things for others, but then gets confused. So here we come to the fashion section, i know were in trouble since from working in walmart in the past i know the clearance trend for fashion, i know were in the 3 dollar end of summer sale time. Mom was looking for clothes for my niece, i tried and tried to get her away from this area.. she finally focused after about 10 min, and i tried get her to head over to grocery with me. She was originally following behind me and i turned around and she was gone.. I scanned through the fashion section, then through grocery, and then all over the store, i lapped it about 6 times, then i had her paged for 45min, im also listening for a page like code white... something... finally found her.. outside in the rain, and she broke a tide bottle and spilt it everywhere.
Its days like this make me worry, it drives me nuts, makes me want to scream, want to cry, i feel bad for those not understanding moments. Heck i work with brain injury every day, so why cant i keep calm all the time when i get frustrated. I love my mother more than she knows, she sometimes doesnt understand emotion that well, shes either overly worried, or sad, or laughing, but the feelings of love or need to have certain emotional connections dont properly exist.
But im happy in the way that i have a mother who is still here, a mother who still listens though at times she drives me crazy (school, wanting me to get married, wanting grandkids, work, etc) i know it comes from her different emotion style. I wish everyone could understand her blunt way of putting things...
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